The Grudge


Yeah, I hate Mondays.  But I don’t want to hold a grudge against the One who created Mondays.  That’s a battle that I will certainly lose.  So I just don’t focus myself on the fact that Sunday is ending.  I just try to enjoy Sundays as much as I can.

Somewhere I read that “having a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”.  I think a Hollywood celebrity said that but I can’t remember who.  You know what?  That’s a genius comparison.  I have dealt with grudges all my life.  I have met people who have held grudges for too long.  Something that I’ve learned is that a person who holds grudges is never happy and ends up being lonely even from the people he or she loves.

Other words for grudge are: spite, rancor, animosity, contempt, hard feelings, alienation….but the worst of them all is hatred.  None of these words are encouraging or nurturing.  Holding grudges is feeling hatred so there is no space for love.  Where do grudges start?  How can they destroy a life?  How can we know if we are susceptible to hold a grudge against anyone?

The Bible identifies in 1 Corinthians 13, four traits that can make us prone to holding grudges:

  • Selfishness – When we are first, second and third in every one of our priorities.  A selfish person doesn’t like to share; they don’t know the meaning of sacrifice… only for themselves.  Selfish people look for their own benefit in any situation.
  • Envy – This feeling goes hand in hand with selfishness.  If we envy, we want for ourselves what others have. We get frustrated with others if we don’t get the best for ourselves. And that feeling will increase the next trait on the list:
  • Pride – A proud person believes that they are above every other person.  They can never lose in any discussion or any situation.  They can never tolerate humiliation or degradation.  Nobody likes to be embarrassed and we should have a level of personal pride to earn respect.  But everything has a limit; and the line draws when we disgrace other people just to praise ourselves.
  • Irate –  If we are extremely irritable; we are very likely to get ourselves involved with grudges.  Irate people easily get mixed up in misunderstandings, discussions, insults and problems that will compromise relationships and feelings.

If we have any or all of these traits, we are in danger!  A person who holds a grudge is someone who doesn’t know the true meaning of LOVE!!!  There is no happiness in holding grudges, only loneliness, sadness and frustration. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  We don’t have to live with grudges.  We only need these two ingredients:

  • LOVE – Or should I say: GodGod is LOVE.  “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
  • Forgiveness – “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins”.  Matthew 6:14-15  This means that the forgiveness we receive from God is conditioned.  We have to forgive to be forgiven…it’s as simple as that.  Once we sincerely forgive, then the peace that passes understanding will come upon us.  We won’t be lonely anymore.

So what now?  Let’s start with filling our lives with love and forgiveness.  That way we will achieve our ultimate goal: true and fulfilling happiness.  Now let me continue enjoying my Sunday and enjoy yours.  God Bless You in many ways!

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