Have you ever told God: “Please God, don’t fail me now!”? Well, start changing your saying into: “Please God don’t let me fail You now”. The truth is that God never fails.
We fail all the time; especially when we are going through financial troubles and trials. We get anxious about the future that hasn’t come yet. We start remembering the times when we have had debts to pay and no money to pay them. How about starting to remember the times that God provided us when we were needy? Yes, He probably used somebody to help us. He has angels everywhere! Those are the people who let themselves be used by Him. You could be one of His angels too.
My lesson for this week was learning to trust Him. (Yeah, I’ve been relearning this lesson over and over again.) My thick headed skull doesn’t grab it that easy. I keep failing in that test. But God keeps showing me, with His unique patience, that He will never fail. If we have faith in Him, we won’t be anxious, nervous or depressed. We rest assured that He will deliver us from any problem that we can’t handle. But we want to handle everything and see the solutions with our eyes right away. I know…been there done that.
Things may be cloudy and grim right now. Just wait and see what He will do. He’s our Loving Father, He’ll never leave us alone. Tell me, would you leave your kids alone when they most need you? …Just as I thought.
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Yeah, her royal highness ordered me to tell you this…hahaha!!
I still remember the weeks previous to that day I lost my job from the school I was teaching. The elementary school principal had been harassing me constantly, even if I did things the way the administrators wanted; all of my efforts were always wrong. I felt stressed and totally depressed. It was hard for me to keep a straight face for my students, my daughter and my family who were always calling me to see how were things doing. I would refuge myself in prayer and also in my colleague teacher who was also feeling stressed by the overwhelming work that wouldn’t allow us to enjoy life.
It felt like a prison: we were confined to our endless hours of work because time during the days and nights was just not enough. My voice was hoarse, my blood pressure was high; my body was reflecting what my mind and emotions were battling against. It was like a time bomb.
Then, some strange events happened. I was being transferred to another area with another principal. I was relieved but my relief would be short lived. The elementary principal managed to detain my transfer for one more week so she could manage to make some write ups and get me fired. She falsely accused me of insubordination because it was the only reason she could make up to get me fired. I had never been late, I had never been absent, my lesson plans and my work were always on time, I was respected by colleagues, my students and their parents. But she didn’t like me because I had the same MA. Ed she had plus I was bilingual unlike her. She felt I was a threat. (Not that I was interested in her position anyway).
Yes, I questioned why God had allowed me to leave the place that had been my home for so long and arrive to Texas to go through such a sad experience. Where was God when I was praying to Him? Had he been listening to my voice? Had He been seeing my tears? Where was His justice? After that experience, the human in me wanted revenge. But God told me that He would pay; that I had to let Him do His work. Through His Word, He told me that He would sustain me. But it was very, very hard for the human in me.
Before a whole month went by, I had found another job. But still the human in me; kept fighting inside. I fought the grudge, the frustration, the sadness and hopelessness. But God kept telling me that He would pay. I had been working for a month now and I wanted to call one of my colleagues to see how they were doing. But this past Friday, one of them called me. She told me that there had been a huge firing at the school and that she had been laid off because of overstaffing. I was sad for her; but I offered all the help I could give her about how I had survived for these past two months. Then she told me: “Six teachers were laid off and only one administrator: the elementary school principal was fired too.”
Yes, God had done His justice. I didn’t have to move a finger or get revenge on my own. God had done it for me. Her “victory” was short lived. I just hope that through this experience, that old principal learned a valuable lesson. That sooner or later, evil deeds are like a boomerang; they will come right back at you.
So let’s just do good to our fellow man; that will also come right back at us.
Lying here on my bed (well, not a bed actually….I sleep on top of two pieces of foam, a sleeping bag and a quilt) I started reflecting on my lessons from the past year. It was such an intense year. Moving from one country to another. Starting all over again, taking risking decisions; it’s all part of the process of living and changes.
I learned that even though making life changing decisions isn’t easy; you won’t know if the outcome will work unless you try. You have to fight insecurities, fear of the unknown, loss of faith and many other mind bogging dilemmas. But I remembered telling my daughter, months before we left Puerto Rico, that I had to take a risk because I didn’t want to end up asking myself in the future: What if?
I learned to have faith. Losing my job as a teacher after three months of intense work made me have more faith. It wasn’t easy, some insecurities wanted to take over and I can’t deny that I even got depressed. That’s one of the flaws of being human. But God never failed me.
He confirmed over and over again that this change came from Him. The devil was not happy and used that old principal to make me doubt God. I still remember being shocked but calm. When the days passed by and I started receiving phone calls for job interviews, I knew that everything would be alright.
If God moves you; He will back you up. Even if something bad happens; which it will most likely happen, just keep praying and doing what you’re supposed to do. Don’t let depression or fear put you down or make you anxious. He will arrive in perfect timing.
Right now, I rest assured that He is showing me the way. Each day is different than the last one and you will see how life will surprise you.
So don’t lose your hope in your journey; the best is yet to come!
I don’t know where you are or what are you expecting for this new year. But all I know is this….that I wish that you never forget where you come from and that your journey through this year will be filled with much laughter, joy and blessings. Happy and Prosperous 2016!
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