Between Heartbreaks and Tests

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These days I got a little lost within myself.  Late last year I was so focused on setting my sights on my plans for leaving PR and getting a teaching job in TX.  But when the new year started, I got distracted.  Someone came into my life when I thought that having feelings for a guy would never happen again for me.  But it happened, and it was fast, unexpected and strong.  Then, like a flash….it was all over.

Nothing significant ever happened, just some calls, messages and tears.  Illusions can come and go so fast, you don’t even realize when it starts and when it ends. But between all those broken illusions, I lost my north.  My focus went numb.  I hardly picked up a book to read, to study.  My mind was lacking all kinds of concentration on what I had planned for my daughter and me.  And time kept running and days kept passing.  All my plans for studying dissipated like mist.

The day of the test came, I drank a lot of coffee and took it.  Too late to cancel, there was no turning back.  And now to wait for the results.  I wish I didn’t get distracted.  I wish I studied more.  I wish….I never lost my north.  I would feel happier now.  Next week the results will be ready.

We puertorricans say that when we lose everything, we lose “the rope and the goat”.  I just wish that this won’t be the case; but if it is….I will take a second chance, no matter where it comes.

No more distractions, no more heartbreaks.  Life has to go on…. God is still in control.

Have a Holy Week!

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