Like every other Sunday morning;  I sit on my balcony to look at the airport and watch how the airplanes take off to the sky.  Sometimes I even wave them good-bye.  This morning I watched 2 JetBlue’s leave as early as 6 AM.  The early Sunday FedEx left sharp at 7 AM.  And while I drank my morning coffee a huge Delta soared through the sky leaving the Luis Munoz Rivera International Airport behind.

I often wonder what’s the plane destination; who are those passengers; what are their plans for the future and who will be waiting for them when they arrive.  I do love living in front of the airport; but it could be a frustrating experience too.  Specially when you feel trapped and you want to leave; but you don’t have the means to do it.  Every time a plane departs; a piece of my heart leaves too.  I feel like leaving; but I can’t.  I guess that’s the way prisoners feel.

Living in Puerto Rico during these last four years have been hard on me.  Since I lost my job and I haven’t had financial stability; the only steadfast supply in my life has been my faith in God.  But what happens when you get shaken to the point that you even doubt if what you’re doing is right?

I started a job two weeks ago; it doesn’t pay much, I only work four hours a week, I prepare very well for my job (I do the lesson plans), I filled all the documents the way they said so I could get paid in time….but still, I didn’t get paid.  It’s so sad when you see the fuel tank of your car almost on empty, it’s the end of the month when you know you won’t have money; then you work, expect to get paid, and it doesn’t happen.

When I told my mom yesterday, that I didn’t get paid, she told me to quit.  But I have a contract so I just have to breathe deeply and try to manage the best that I can.  But then this morning, I watched the planes departing again and….I….just….wanted…..to….leave.